Back to the Future

I’m pretty sure you have never heard of Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, have you? 

I’ve never heard of it by name, but I have experienced it a lot, and I’m sure you have too. It’s when you hear about something, or maybe you purchased something unique, only to find that you start seeing the very thing all over the place. I drive around in an orange Jeep, and before buying it, I had never seen one on the road. Afterward, they were popping up everywhere. 

Well, this happened again pretty recently. I was participating in a community gathering where I told the group about getting a new job. The host, Dr. Mike Lee, suggested writing a letter to myself… my past self when I first experienced the layoff. Well, wouldn’t you know it, as I was working on some upcoming improvements to the website, I started seeing letters to myself, or from me to strangers as a therapeutic exercise. So, as was so eloquently stated by Mike Birbiglia in one of his comedy routines…

Here goes…

Hey Kenneth,

I know you don’t want to talk to anyone right now, but please take a moment to hear me out. Believe it or not, I am you, in what from your vantage point will seem like an eternity in your future, but in reality it won’t be that long. You just got off the call where they let you go, right? I know your mind is swirling, and you feel like you got crushed with a baseball bat. I also know that you are not only playing this scene in your head, but you have thought about the last time this happened, only this time you have no safety net, and you have to be the safety net for others. 

Let me help you through this, first by telling you what I am (and what you will be) doing. Tomorrow I am going into week two at a great company with a great future. We will have the opportunity to not just fulfill a role, but to have an impact on the company direction. Basically, everything you have wanted to do, things that you have started years ago, are coming into fruition in this new role. 

I’m telling you this now because despite all of your efforts, you are going to have some challenges and heartaches in the process. There are going to be some that take advantage of your need and that is going to make you question who you can trust. As hard as it is, remember who you are, and what you have to give. This point is going to be key for you. It’s not going to be just about “finding a job”, but you are going to have to show up. Show up for other communities, for others that are looking for jobs, for friends, family and loved ones. I know what you are saying right now – How can I show up for others when I am on the verge of losing everything? Trust me, it is all part of the process. Before you can get into any interview, you have to shake the loss that you are experiencing and remember that you are valuable – that you have a lot to give professionally, personally, emotionally, etc. You have to see regularly that you are the right person to step into situations because of who you are, not because you have a title. You are going to be meeting with some very strong, talented and intelligent people in the industry, both in the interview process and in the job itself, and I need you to be confident in the person you are and in all of your successes in the past, and what you can bring to the table. 

One more thing, and this is equally important. We have no answers. There is no spiritual epiphany that comes at the end of this process, no closing the loop on anything, no answers to any eternal questions. What there is, is a lot of gratefulness. You spend a lot of time being grateful for little things – you may not go out a lot during this time, but you don’t go hungry and the lights don’t go out. 

Finally, you have a lot of people to be thankful for, starting with Holly who never doubted you at all in this. But not only her, you receive so much support from former co-workers, leaders, customers and new connections you make. People who see your value and believe in you. Make sure you let them know how much you appreciate them. 

You will get through this, I promise, and you will be better, not because of it, but because of who you are in the midst of situations. I can’t wait for you to see what is ahead for you… for us.