So, those of you that have been hanging with me for a while know that I have been joyously participating in J’s Love Project. It has been wonderful and challenging, and through it I have learned some great things about showing love. The latest part of the project, however, has me effectively hiding in a corner.
May is the month of self love, and I have to admit I don’t do that very well. I like to think that I love others better than I love myself. I’m finding, however, that the degree to which I love myself affects the degree to which I love others. I’m sure there is some axiom, proverb, life lesson or something that would explain it, but I don’t need a lesson – I already have that piece down.
In the focus for May, the activity is to write a love letter to myself. I’ve read those of some that have participated, and saw how courageous their letters are. Truthfully, I’m not ready. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a couple recent failures… well, what I call failures, that are affecting my ability to love myself. Still, when I think about it deeply, maybe the only reason I am considering them failures is because I really do love. I mean, if I didn’t love with the intensity that I do, then I wouldn’t care if I failed others or not. I would just do what was convenient for me, whether others liked it our not.
Love can be hard. Self love, harder. You can’t hide behind a facade when it comes to self love, because you know you. Intimately. But, as hard as it is, it is worth it to accept the challenge. Real love loves when things are not pretty, when failures occur, when life doesn’t hand you awards.
In fact, that’s when you know that you are really loved. When love endures past the stuph…
So, this is part 1: realizing that I have to love myself in spite of the failures that have been positioned right in front of my face, and that I have to love myself to effectively love others. Part 2 will be the letter, written sometime this month.
Here’s a couple of great letters from those who already engaged the challenge:
http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/dear-self/
http://zebrasounds.net/2011/05/08/dear-j/
I would encourage you to take the challenge for yourself. After all, you really are worth it.